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Wet Dreams

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May. 1st, 2001 | 07:05 pm

It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year, I was driving in downtown Atlantis,my Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a red stingray and it was over heating. So I pulled into a shell station, they said I'd blown a seal, I said "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, OK pal?"

While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar, a real dive. But I knew the owner, he used to play for the dolphins. I said "Hi GILL!".. You have to yell, he's hard of herring. Gill was also down on his luck, fact is he was barely keeping his head below water. I gullied up the sand bar, he poured the usual - Rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken not stirred, with a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side, heavy on the Mako. I slipped him the fin, on porpoise. I was feelin' good, I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids, for the helibut.

Well, the place was crowded we were packed in like sardines. They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal, what sole. Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna, Salmon Enchanted Evening, and the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers, probably there to see the bass player. One of them, was this cute little yellow tail, and she's giving me the eye. So I figure this is my chance for a little fun, y'know, piece'a pisces. But she said things I just couldn't fathom, she was too deep, she seemed to be under a lot of pressure, boy could she drink, she drank like a .. she drank a lot. I said, what's your sign, she said Aquarian, I said, "GREAT, let's get tanked."

I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait, I said, "c'mon baby, it'll only take a few minnows." She threw me that same old line, "not tonight, I got a haddock" and she wasn't kidding either cos in came the biggest meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike. He was covered with muscles. He came over to me, he said "Listen shrimp, don't you come trawling around here". What a crab. This guy was steamed. I could see the anchor in his eyes. I turned to him and I said "Abalone! You're just being shellfish." Well, I knew there was going to be trouble and so did Gill cos he was already on the phone to the Cods. The haddock hits me a sucker punch, I catch him with a left hook, he eels over, it was a fluke! But there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackrel. Kelpless.

I said "forget the cods Gill, this guy's going to need a sturgeon". Well, the yellow tail was impressed by the way I landed her boyfriend. She came over to me, she said "Hey big boy, you're really a game fish. What's your name?" I said "Marlin".

Well, from then on, we had a whale of a time. I took her to dinner, I took her to dance, I bought her a bouquet of flounders and then I went home with her.. but what did I get for my trouble? A case of the clams.

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Comments {5}

Sagaz

(no subject)

from: sagaz
date: May. 1st, 2001 10:05 am (UTC)
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I love you fishguts. You're hilarious

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Wacky Broadway nightmare

Re:

from: fishie
date: May. 1st, 2001 09:28 pm (UTC)
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oi VEY

I'm not really, it's a song ;)

I'm boring schmoring.

*does a little dance*
*makes a little love*
*gets down tonight*

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)))explicitverbage(((

(no subject)

from: stellarmonkie
date: May. 1st, 2001 11:00 am (UTC)
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that was great...
im an aquarian.

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Wacky Broadway nightmare

Re:

from: fishie
date: May. 1st, 2001 09:30 pm (UTC)
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GREAT, let's get tanked!

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kiwibryn

(no subject)

from: kiwibryn
date: Apr. 22nd, 2007 05:53 am (UTC)
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What happened to the sharks? Loan and Pool. .

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